Here at Tell the Band to Go Home, we’re fortunate enough to get a lot of talented artists sending in CDs in the hopes that we’ll spin their music and make ’em rich and famous. Unfortunately, we’ve never made anyone rich and famous (especially ourselves), but we do our best to keep spreading the good word.

Unfortunately, among those talented artists who send in music, we also get a HUGE steaming pile of poo. There are so many bad CDs in the world, and somehow, many of them make their way into our mailbox. Don’t worry, I would never subject you to some of the garbage I get in the mail (well, we used to play some of it on Steel Belted Radio around New Year’s, but KK’s got a conscience and says we shouldn’t do it any more).

I hate listening to bad music more than almost anything. As our friends at Six Shooter Records say, “life’s too short to listen to shitty music.” Couldn’t agree more. It pains me to have to sit through even a couple of songs from a real stinker, so I have had to develop a way of separating the winners from the losers without even listening. As shocking as it might sound, while you might not be able to judge a book by its cover, you can almost always judge a CD by its cover. Anyone who goes to A Man Named Wrycraft to have his artwork done, or takes the time to do it right on their own or through someone else, cares enough to put out a good product. Dude who takes a picture of himself by the barn and uses MS Paint to put a title on it does NOT deserve to be heard. Plain and simple.

And so, when I saw this “artwork” online today, I knew it was a perfect example of something that you NEVER want to listen to!

Seriously, Claudette, do your family a favour and find yourself a less public way of embarrassing yourself! If you really do think you have talent (and I doubt that) put some effort into it! This looks terrible, so it’s got to sound terrible!

There are a million of ’em out there, I’m afraid. Look at this guy. This dude is (apparently) talented. He has a good publicist, some famous fans, and gets some attention from some decent people. However, I can’t, and won’t, take his music seriously while he’s putting out CDs with covers like this:

The worst part is that this isn’t dude’s first foray into the world of “crimes against CD artwork.” Look at his last CD:

Again, if you care about your music, and want people to listen to it, care enough to put a decent cover on the CD. Otherwise, some higher-than-thou radio nerd just might make fun of you on his website or his year-end radio show. Just ask David and Claudette!

********************

After writing that rant, I got in the mail perhaps the most ridiculous looking CD yet.

Boys, I’m just trying to help, honest. Get jobs. Quick.

Why would I want to listen to something that looks like that???

Last week on the show, I took up listener Oly’s challenge to make a list of the 15 albums that matter most to me. I found out quickly how impossible it really is. After much deliberation (and a week or so of forgetting all about it…), I’ve decided to post this list. By no means definitive, but a fun peek into how I ended up this way, I hope. These are the albums/artists that sent me off on the journey that led me to hosting this show, and continuing it every week. Some may surprise you, but that’s the beauty of being a music nerd; you can like all kinds of weird things.

1. Van Halen – pick one. This is how it all began.

2. Derek & The Dominoes – Layla & Other Assorted Love Songs (why? I was young & into guitar gods – check and double check, loved melodic, rockin tunes, check, wanted something a little deeper & more meaningful than most of the crap on the radio, definite check, felt lonely & miserable, GOLD STAR)

3. Van Morrison – Moondance (one of the greatest albums of all time, no doubt)

4. Bob Marley – Exodus/Rastaman Vibration (if Oly can cheat and pick twofers, so can I)

5. Elvis Costello & The Attractions – This Year’s Model (if this doesn’t rock your world, your world is broken)

6. The Pursuit of Happiness – Love Junk

7. The Watchmen – McLaren Furnace Room/ Duck Shot Hunter – Orange tape/Yum / The Blue/New Meanies – Experience Is Lost / Three Seeds (I grew up hearing about the Guess Who, but they were rock stars before I was born. These bands showed me that real people from my home town could make amazing music. The Watchmen were able to make a great name for themselves across the country, and I got to watch and cheer along. The Blue/New Meanies worked like no band I’ve ever seen, and managed impressive success, before landing back on earth and becoming just a bunch of local guys who still make amazing music, from time to time. They went to my school, and they were boys from the ‘hood, so I had to be proud, and was glad to say that I saw them “way back when…” Duck Shot Hunter is the greatest band that never was. Friends and role models, I was their biggest (only?) fan. I felt like part of a really special, really cool club. All of these bands still bring back great memories of a really important time.)

8. Lowest of the Low – Shakespeare My Butt (changed me FOREVER. Melodic, rockin’, interesting, powerful – the first time songs really spoke to ME directly. Wow. Everything they did was amazing, but this was where it all began for me. Still a big fan of whatever these dudes do.)

9. Rheostatics – Melville/Whale Music (landmarks in my evolution. The first time I realized that much of the greatest music is challenging on first listen. Becoming a Rheostatics nerd gave my life meaning and direction. Seriously. I travelled far and wide to see this band, lived and breathed their music, and said and did a lot of silly things out of passion and reverence. A big part of my growing up, in many ways.)

10. Rage Against the Machine – Rage Against the Machine (perfect for those Angry Young Man moments. We all have ’em, even if you’re not a man)

11. Skydiggers – Restless (the first time I saw Skydiggers, I said that they were good, but they’d never become my favourite band. Soon after, I was wrong. They were my favourite band. Still one of the tops.)

12. Stephen Fearing – Blue Line (my first real “wow” moment at Winnipeg Folk Festival was seeing/hearing Stephen Fearing for the very first time. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on a copy of this album. Love it still.)

13. Martin Sexton – Black Sheep (I wasn’t even sure that he was human, doing such things with his voice. And those personal, heartfelt, emotional songs!?)

14. Blackie & The Rodeo Kings – High or Hurtin’

tied w/ Willie P. Bennett – Collectibles (thank you Stephen Fearing for introducing the songs of Willie P Bennett to me. WIthout a doubt the most powerful songs ever written by a Canadian.)

15. Townes Van Zandt – Legend (I do love Willie, but Townes will always be the king. Picking greatest hits collections by both is kind of cheating, but no matter what album I chose, I’d be missing out on too much, so these will have to do)

16. David Francey – Torn Screen Door (If anyone can carry Willie’s torch, it’s David Francey. Such a beautiful, simple songwriter. You don’t need a PHD to understand and feel a David Francey song, and all you need is your ears to love them. He’s also a super great guy, which earns him points as well.)

17. The Weakerthans – Left & Leaving (another album that changed me and has stayed among my most-played for years. Again, when I first heard it, I didn’t get it at all, but something kept bringing me back until I was totally obsessed.)

18. Jim Bryson – The North Side Benches (where the music and the mood are as important as the lyrics. The mood will move you as much as anything. One of the greatest guitar players and lyricists anywhere, and a voice that perfectly suits the song. This is one of those “perfect” albums. He’s made more of them, but this was without a doubt a real masterpiece in his catalogue.)

19. The Damnwells – Bastard of the Beat/Air Stereo (it appeals to my youthful pop/rock sensibilities, but it has meaning and power. Best unknown band in the world. Thank you Allison Green for the tip. I can only hope to turn a few people on to this band, as she has.)

20. Christina Martin – Two Hearts (songs that reach right into her soul and melodies that keep you singing them. This album introduced me to an artist that I have no doubt people will be talking about for years to come.)

Ack! What about:

Kathleen Edwards – Failer

Lucinda Williams – Car Wheels on a Gravel Road

Rodney Crowell – Fate’s Right Hand

Radney Foster – See What You Want to See

The definitive list of artists needs to have Neil Young, BB King, The Smithereens, Steve Earle, Fred Eaglesmith, Lynn Miles, Bob Snider, and on and on and on.

The “in all honesty” list of albums that really mattered to me would need to contain Loverboy, Glass Tiger, Huey Lewis & The News, INXS, John Cougar Mellencamp, Barenaked Ladies, Nirvana, The New Meanies, Odds, etc. etc.

These lists are hard, but fun.


July 31, 2007

This may come as a surprise to some, but probably my favourite TV show of all time, and the one that I am once again totally obsessed with and watching night and day, is a brutally violent, obscene, offensive prison drama called “Oz.” It may also surprise some to know that one of my favourite albums of all time is by a band named Rage Against the Machine. Sure, I’m known these days for my sucky love songs & folk music, but every once in a while, I put on a brutal episode of Oz, or the debut by Rage Against the Machine and I go nuts.

For the uninformed, Rage Against the Machine is really loud, and really angry. They burst onto the scene in 1992 with their debut that mixed heavy metal style guitars with rap-style spoken word, and a whole lot of anger and yelling. This band, and others who are loud and angry, are often associated with angry, disenfranchised people. There’s a stereotype of what someone who’s angry and disenfranchised looks like and acts like, but stereotypes are not always right. There’s usually some truth, and I suppose some element of the stereotype rings true, but rarely is it that simple.

You see, although to many I seem to be pretty easy going and happy, there are times when I, too, am angry and disenfranchised. But really, who isn’t like that sometimes. There are times when I want to be angry and jump up and down and yell. But I decided a long time ago that anger didn’t really have a positive place in my life. For me, anger could be rather consuming and controlling. It has the potential to destroy good things, and get in the way of happiness. For some, anger is a positive outlet and an important, therapeutic emotion. For me, it’s more destructive. I have a lot I could be angry about, but I choose not to.

• Should I be angry at the father who never showed me any love or interest?
• Should I be angry because I grew up poor?
• Should I be angry because of a family history of alcoholism, which affects many?
• Should I be angry because cancer hurt so many people I love?
• Should I be angry about all of the schoolyard bullies who told me that I was a loser?
• Should I be angry at the teachers who concentrated on my mistakes and shortcomings instead of my talents?
• Should I be angry at the society that told me that where & how I grew up would limit what I could do with my life?
• Should I be angry that society has this unrealistic image of love & relationships that just isn’t possible?
• Should I be angry at all of the signs that tell me that I should be happy, when I’m not?
• Should I be angry that wars & disease & senseless bullshit hurt innocent people?
• Should I be angry that our planet is dying and there’s not much we can (or perhaps will) do about it?
• Should I be angry at a school system that I believe in, yet is so flawed and hurtful?

Should I be angry about any of these things, or more? Well, yeah, I guess I could. I have every right to be angry and disenfranchised because of these or a dozen other reasons. But really, what good would that do? Would it make death or pain or disease or hurtful people go away? Would it change anything? Would it make me happier to be angry about things that I can’t change?

For me, the answer is a resounding no. I won’t let anger control me. I won’t be controlled by things that I can’t understand or change. But you better believe that every once in a while, I’m going to put on Oz and love it when a bad guy gets the tar kicked out of him, or killed in a gruesome way. And somehow, I do love to yell along with Rage Against the Machine.

Does this make me an angry, disenfranchised person? Does this make me dangerous? Frightening? Nah, I’m still the same old goody goody who hates to do anything wrong or upset anybody, instead, enjoying the anger and the release of others helps me to avoid losing control myself. I accept the world, and the system for what they are, and I’m not one to start a revolution or encourage chaos, but I’m glad that there are people out there who do have revolutionary and chaotic tendencies. I don’t necessarily agree with them, and I don’t necessarily want to join in, but just allowing myself to be a part of their anger and their passion is a bit of a release for me. And that’s why I understand kids who turn to angry music, video games, or movies as forms of entertainment, and I encourage them to do so. I know that in society today, the power of these things has been taken away and they’ve become too commonplace, but I think they do have value and they are important.

I think there’d be less true anger and violence in the world if people would learn to use music & entertainment to release the anger & violence that I believe lurks within all of us. I think it’s the people who aren’t encouraged to yell & scream & jump up and down are the ones who end up doing it for real.

I guess for the most part I’ll stick with the sappy love songs & folk music, and I’ll try to dwell on happier, more productive things, things that I can control or do something about, but every once in a while, I need my Rage. I hope you do too.

November 27, 2005

I’m a nerd. I used to read a lot of music magazines when I was younger and had more money, but these days, I don’t have the time or the money to buy and read many of the darn things anymore. I hear about a lot of great magazines that I should read, but don’t often get around to picking them up, and even less often do I get around to reading the ones I do pick up. One magazine that I’ve been told time and time again that I should pick up, and have often been tempted to pick up, is NO Depression. It’s a magazine that focuses on “The Past, Present, and Future of American Music.” That really means nothing, but when you read the magazine, it makes a little more sense. It focuses on music that’s good, instead of major label crap that they get paid to force down people’s throats. It’s very much got a roots/folk/americana focus, so musically, it’s right up my alley.

Well, I finally got to find out how great the magazine was about a year ago when a dear friend was kind enough to sign me up for a subscription. It was a wonderful gift as I finally found out what I’d been missing for so long. As the magazines arrived, I would sit down and flip through them, looking for a couple of articles and reviews that I had to read, knowing that I didn’t really have time to go through the whole issue in depth. What I found was that the whole darn thing was good, and I ended up spending a lot more time than I really had reading almost everything in each issue. There were a lot of late nights where I probably should have been sleeping, but ended up reading No Depression instead. There were a lot of great articles and reviews and photos, so it was worth staying up late to go over each magazine.

A little while ago, I started getting notices that my time was about up and that I had to renew my subscription. Well, I’m broke as can be, and life is only getting busier, so I haven’t committed to renewing just yet. I was still considering it though. That is, until I read this month’s magazine.

I’ve been very impressed with the amount of great Canadian music that’s been presented in the magazine. There have been articles and reviews of some of my favourite Canadian musicians in the magazine in the past (Jim Bryson!), and the latest issue is no different, there’s a really great article on Blue Rodeo on there (even if it does focus heavily on why they’re not stars in the U.S., which seems a little odd.) I was also pleased to see that there is a review of Corb Lund’s new record, “Hair in my Eyes Like a Highland Steer.” Being a bit of a Lund fan and curious to see what an American magazine would think of Lund’s very Albertacentric writing, I dove right into the review. Almost immediately, it stopped me right in my tracks.

I’ll provide a copy of the review here:

Like ice fishing and snow mobile racing, Corb Lund is huge in Canada (if not so much in Texas). The former frontman for Edmonton punk-rock footnotes the Smalls consistently sells out 1,000-seat venues in the Great White North. Hair In My Eyes Like A Highland Steer leaves no doubt that the country convert bleeds maple syrup and Molson Canadian; the disc’s thirteen rollicking dusters are littered with references to Calgary cowgirls and British Columbia buckaroos.

Musically, The Corb Lund Band is at least partially rooted in American soil. The cowbell-propelled title track hews dangeroulsy close to Nashville-brand new country, and the saloon-boogie shuffler “Always Keep An Edge On Your Knife” sounds like an artifact from the California gold rush.

Lund’s weakness is that too many of his songs play out like novelty tunes. “Hurtin’ Albertan” is a CB radio tribute that won’t make anyone forget about C.W. McCall’s immortal “Convoy”, and “The Truck Got Stuck” could easily be a reject from Jason Ringenberg’s A Day At The Farm With Farmer Jason children’s disc. Everyone suspects Canadians are kind of simple, but Lund doesn’t have to prove it with sing-song rhymes like “It was truck after truck/We all got stuck.”

From No Depression #60 – November/December 2005
written by Mike Usinger

Wow. Now I can take a joke, and can forgive more than my share of bad writing (not everyone can be a perfect writer such as I, after all…), but this pile of literary poo got to me. I did what I felt I had to do, and wrote an email to No Depression expressing my disappointment. It is as follows:

It’s a good thing my subscription is up, because I’d likely want to cancel it after reading the DUMB comments that Mike Usinger made in his sadly misinformed and very insulting review of Corb Lund’s new album. There’s a reason why there is some animosity between Canada and the US, and it’s almost entirely because of ignorance and stereotypes like those spewed forth by Mr. Usinger. “Everyone suspects Canadians are kind of simple, but Lund doesn’t have to prove it…” Wow. I’m not surprised that there’s someone in the US small-minded enough to write such drivel, but I’m really shocked at No Depression for publishing it. What a total lack of respect for your subscribers north of the border.

I should mention that Usinger’s rambling review, while it contains plenty of fairly typical, stupid stereotypes, also contains plenty of factual errors. First, Lund was hardly the “frontman” for The Smalls. As anyone who had done their homework should know, Corby Lund (as he was known) was the bass player, while Mike Caldwell did the singing, thank you (a quick check on allmusic.com, an American site, will show you that) (further, one has to wonder why, if The Smalls are mere “footnotes,” Usinger would bother to mention them at all). Also, while Lund is surely gaining in popularity, he is far from able to sell out 1,000 seat venues in much of “The Great White North.” Sure, in his home of Alberta he may be able to pull that off, but in much of the country he’s playing much, much smaller venues. Most importantly, no matter how much he appears to be gaining steam, he has a long, long way to go before he is as popular as ice fishing or snowmobile (one word, Mr. Usinger) racing.

We Canadians may be simple, but at least we are able to write well informed reviews without insulting an entire nation of people.

Farewell No Depression, and thanks for not making things “too” friendly between the US and Canada; it just means that there will be more maple syrup and Molson products for us, thanks.

Jeff Robson
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Great White North

And those are just a few of the comments that one could make about this awful review.